Best Places To Have Sex On A College Campus

Maybe you're getting bored with the frameless bed, maybe your roommate keeps “accidently” interrupting your alone time with your significant other, or maybe you just want to do it somewhere where the fear of getting caught is going to make it more interesting (intense).

Whatever the reason, here are 13 places you should have sex on campus before you graduate:

1. Dorm Room (this is more for students who live off campus)

Pleasurability: High. As long as you can lock the door, you and your partner will be able to let yourselves completely go since you don’t have to worry about anyone walking in on you.

Chance of getting caught: Low. Lock the door. Put a scrunchie on the door or a sign that says you're getting laid, and enjoy.

Feasibility: High. If you can’t find anyone who has their own room, then simply rent one out for a night and go wild.

Best time: Anytime.

If you're really brave, do it while your roommate is sleeping. The best time for this is after a late night of partying.

Everyone should fuck in a dorm room at least once before graduating.

2. Forest

Pleasurability: Depends on your fear of the outdoors. Are you going to run away crying if you get stung on the genitals by a mosquito? Will you freak out the second a garter snake slithers over your foot? Are a family of geese staring at you going to ruin the mood? There are a lot of uncontrollable factors that can affect your enjoyment.

Chance of getting caught: Medium. You`ll definitely get caught by someone. The big question is will they be human or not.

Feasibility: Guarded. Most campuses don’t have forests. Not in the sense where you can go in for a walk and get lost. They're usually a cluster of a few trees that are used by any number of students on daily basis.

Best time: Anytime, but just like a Navy Seal, you should try to blend in with your surroundings. Wear white in the wintertime. Lots of browns in the fall, etc. Don’t go in during the night. Nothing good ever happens in a forest after sunset.

If you guys are feeling really adventurous, and capable, do it up in a tree. Make sure it will be able to support your combined weights.

3. In an empty classroom

Pleasurability: High. You can do it in the student chairs, on top of the professor’s desk, against the blackboard, on the floor. There are enough possibilities to satisfy everyone’s favourite positions.

Chance of getting caught: Medium. There is usually a lecture schedule outside the door that shows you when the class is in actual use. But keep in mind, students use empty classrooms to study and for group get togethers all the time. Also, the cleaning staff visits them periodically.

Feasibility: High. Every class is empty at one point or another. And most classes remain unlocked.

Best time: A few hours after the lecture’s last class of the day.

4. Handicapped Washroom

Pleasurability: Depends on when it was last used. And whatever you do, don’t do it on the floor.

Chances of getting caught: Low. As long as you keep the moans and skin slapping to a minimum and walk in and walk out separately.

Feasibility: High. There are usually more handicapped washrooms then there are handicapped students. They are usually extremely clean, spacious, and have working locks.

Best time: Whenever the mood strikes.

5. Library (library washroom doesn't count)

Pleasurability: Low. In order to get away with it without getting caught it’s going to have to be awkward.

Chances of getting caught: Severe. There’s always someone passing by and since you don’t have a 360 degrees field of vision it’s hard to know when you’re being watched.

Feasibility: Guarded. It’s either going to have to be standing in between book isles or in a study carrel, with her sitting on top of you.

Best time: A few weeks into a summer or fall semester when students don’t have to worry about exams and when the weather’s nice enough to keep most of the sane people out of the library.

6. Sorority house

Pleasurability: High. It has all the comfort and amenities of a dorm room but because you’re behind enemy lines it feels even better.

Chances of getting caught: Low. Even though most sororities have rules against having guys spend the night, rarely will you ever actually suffer because of it.

Feasibility: Guarded. Most sorority girls are unparalleled sluts BUT if you don’t belong to a fraternity the chances of you seeing the interior of their room are extremely low. Combine that with the fact that most sisters share rooms and it becomes even lower.

Best time: Weekend. When most of her sisters go back home to visit their families.

7. Residence's game room or lounge area

Pleasurability: Low. You’ll most likely be sharing a couch in a very public area. Which means you’ll only be able to spoon.

Chances of getting caught. High. It’s public. It’s open. It’s hard to conceal your actions.

Feasibility: Low. This one’s a real bitch to pull off. You have to have a blanket to cover yourselves to even try it.

Best time: Weekend nights. Most students will either be back home or out partying.

8. Elevator

Pleasurability: Guarded. There’s only one or two positions that work effectively in an elevator. And their success rates greatly depend on your size and weight.

Chances of getting caught: Elevated. You never know when that door’s going to open.

Feasibility: Elevated. There are plenty of elevators on campus. But there are significantly less of those without security cameras in them.

Best time: After 6pm in any office buildings on campus. Make sure you’re on the top floor before you start doing anything. Also, summer months are great since there are less articles of clothing to worry about.

9. Rooftop

Pleasurability: High. As long as you bring a blanket, you’ll enjoy yourselves.

Chances of getting caught: depends on your combined stupidity. If you’re hitting her doggy-style as she peruses over the edge with her titties hanging out in the middle of a sunny day, then it’s high. But if you’re in the middle of the roof top, under a blanket, on the highest building in the vicinity, then the chances are much lower.

Feasibility: Low. It’s hard to find a building that has an unlocked access to the roof top.

Best time: summer and fall nights when you can see the stars clearly. And when most cameras don’t work as well.

10. Middle of a soccer/football/baseball field

Pleasurability: High. Just like with the rooftop, as long as you bring a blanket, you’re good to go.

Chances of getting caught: Guarded. As long as you avoid fluorescent, bright, clothes, you should be ok.

Feasibility: High. There are plenty of fields around campus.

Best time: Fall is great. The nights are cool enough to keep away the mosquitoes but not cold enough to affect performance.

11.  Office of a social club/student organization

Pleasurability: High. It’s almost like having sex in a professor’s office.

Chances of getting caught: Low. As long as you have the keys you can lock everyone out.

Feasibility: Low. You have to belong to a club that has an office on campus. You have to be important enough to the club where you are entrusted with the keys.

Best time: Any evening.

12. Random car in parking lot

Pleasurability: depends on the type of car.

Chances of getting caught: Elevated. Who ever parked their car has to eventually get back to it. There will be other people around you getting back to their cars. And most campuses have CCTV cameras in their parking lots.

Feasibility: Low. The car has to be unlocked and without an alarm. Best cars for this are convertibles and pickup trucks.

Best time: Late night.

13. Top stairwell of a building

Pleasurability: Guarded. The dirty, cold, concrete floor, the spiderweb, and the functionality of doing it on a set of stairs are all going to make it hard for the both of you to fully enjoy yourselves.

Chance of getting caught: Low. As long as you check that there are no security cameras, the only other people that could possibly show up are stoners and other couples looking to do the same thing.

Feasibility: High. There are plenty of unused stairways on every campus.

Best time: Winter time, when you can use your big, heavy, jackets as a buffer between the cold, dirty, concrete, and your bare asses.

A few things to keep in mind before you start leaving your DNA all over school property:

Most people have cameras these days.

Most of your school is covered in security cameras.

Nights can be a dangerous place on a campus.

Use some type of contraceptive. Pulling out doesn’t count.  Anal does.

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